Blog It Like It’s 2012
Well, here we are at last. The arguments, the mock drafts, the analysis, the trades, the speculation has all lead us here. This might be the last high Rockets draft pick for a while. We can hope so anyway. The Rockets have left the business of betting against the Brooklyn Nets, which yielded an unexpected third pick in this draft, and are now in the business of betting against the Phoenix Suns.
As you probably know, the NBA draft has been split into two parts, so people on the East Coast can go to bed earlier or something. No more booing the assistant commissioner!
Until tomorrow at least.
What will happen tonight? Watch it all unfold here! Argue! Shout! Wail! Rejoice! Caterwaul!
Here we go!
Here’s your 2024 NBA Draft Day thread. Draft order is as follows:
First Round
1. Atlanta
Well, SBNation is letting me edit again. The Hawks do the expect and take Zaccharie Risacher, who appears on stage looking like he’s off for a stage at Goldman Sachs. You can’t really put a price on first round picks who look like investment bankers the night they get rich, I guess?
2. Washington
Mon Dieu! Un autre! The Wizards do not shock The Wizarding World with their pick of Alex Sarr. Sarr’s suit selection is a bit more flamboyant, and his English is definitely better than Risacher’s.
Can either of these guys really play basketball? Will they justify the high pick? I wish them well, but I have no idea. They seem to have the right profile – tall, French, can do some of everything. Is that enough? We will see.
3. Houston (from Brooklyn)
The Rockets do what I personally consider The Right Thing and draft Reed Sheppard, statistically the best player in this draft, according to Kevin Pelton.
Reed’s parents come on stage with Reed, and let me tell you, his mom is going to be a favorite in Houston. Between Teroya Eason and Stacey Sheppard, the Rockets have the mom front covered.
This article about how Reed’s game was formed by his mom, herself a Kentucky player, is fascinating.
https://www.cbssports.com/college-basketball/news/her-name-her-game-how-kentuckys-reed-sheppard-was-made-in-his-mothers-image-30-years-after-her-uk-career/
4. San Antonio
The Spurs take Stephon “Brick” Castle, the UConn guard. So Donovan Clingan was not the first Husky picked, despite being quite husky himself. Perhaps the Spurs can teach the erstwhile PG Castle to shoot. Or not. I don’t really care. He seems like a nice kid, though. They all do.
5. Detroit
Oh. Oh, dear. The Pistons take Teddy Pendgrass fan, Texan Ron Holland. Ron seems like a very pleasant guy. I pity him. Detroit did hire Fred Vinson, and Vinson did teach Herb Jones (already in the HoF) to shoot. If they CAN teach Ron to shoot, he’s got everything else, despite the GLeague stink. I hope something nice happens to the Pistons.
6. Charlotte
CHA takes Tidjaun Salaun, the most Hornetsy pick possible. He might be able to do everything. But can he do anything right now? Not exactly. So Hornets.
7. Portland
Portland curses Donovan Clingan, who has already had a lot of tragedy, by picking him. He can join some august, and definitely cursed, company. Maybe he’ll be better than Myers Leonard? Or Zach Collins?
8. San Antonio (from Toronto)
The Spurs take Rob Dillingham, causing a great deal of gnashing of teeth on my part. A guy who can get his own shot. A guy who can throw lobs to Wemby! Steph Castle can play defense for him!
But we get bailed out! Minnesota trades something or other for him.
9. Memphis
The Gristle takes a chance on Zach Edey, after failing to get Cursed Clingan. He might work out. He might not. They definitely like making wacky picks. Feels like you didn’t have to take Zach, who knows baseball and hockey evidently, here.
Another Canadian. I mean, if a dude this huge can skate…maybe?
10. Utah
Utah takes Jaylin William’s brother. Maybe he can play, maybe not. Who knows?
We dont’ want good things for Utah, so whatever.
11. Chicago
And the Bulls are Bullsing. They take Matas Bulzelis, to try to make up for Markkanen or something. Matas is raw, so probably the Bulls will give up on him before he’s good.
He IS of Lithuanian descent, so perhaps it’ll work out.
12. Oklahoma City (from Houston)
McDuck is getting ready to quack. Or perhaps cry. This was formerly the Rockets pick, but he may have to make the pick, and spend one of the coins from his swimming pool of coins picks.
Ah, he makes a pick! It’s Nikola Topic. Who can do everything, but does he do anything well? McDuck definitely has a type, as he immediately replaces Josh Giddey.
13. Sacramento
Sacrament takes…young Rick James? Sorry, no, it’s Devin Carter with a tribute to Dillon Brooks with the “Coat Without Shirt”. He hasn’t worked up to the shirtless vest yet. I’m not sure about his fit in Sacramento as he allegedly plays defense.
14. Portland (from Golden State via Boston and Memphis)
Portland takes…Bub Carrington, former mayor of Minneapolis! No, wait, he’s a player for Pitt. And he’s going to Washington. For what? I don’t know. Maybe Bob Myers will tell us.
15. Miami
Miami takes Kel’el Ware. No word on his relation to Jor’El, or Kal’el, but is he IS secretly from Krypton he should be great in the NBA. They just paid, or alleged paid, Bam Adebayo all the money, so maybe an inexpensive center project is a good plan?
16. Philadelphia
The 76ers select Jared McCain. This is a good pick for them, bringing some shooting to Philly. He might be as good a shooter as Reed Sheppard, or Rob Dillingham, without, perhaps the other skills. McCain continues the trend of jackets and no shirt, but he’s really ready for the occasion. Wait, no, he has like a shell under his jacket, but he’s got some interesting jewelry and has, like Jalen Green, painted nails. Somehow he can still shoot a basketball, right? We’ll find out.
The ever linked Lakers do NOT select Bronny James at 1-17. They take Dalton Knecht. So Mr Knight is a Laker, and instantly becomes the best player taken in the draft. He’s an older prospect, but can shoot, and is fairly big. I’ve heard he’s athletic, but I haven’t really seen it. Prepare for him to be overvalued, but the Lakers really do need more shooting.
Wait, he’s already overvalued. It’s happened. DKNT stock up 5x.
18. Orlando
So Orlando takes another large dude who can do surprising stuff. Ok. Cool. Never change Orlando. Tristan DaSilva, you might find playing time. If you can shoot like you did in college. DaSilva is wearing a sort of Superhero goes to an awards dinner jacket. Well done. But if you replace the best Orlando players, who are frontcourt types largely, with DaSilva for shooting, what have you accomplished?
19. Toronto (from Indiana)
JaKobe Walter goes to the Raptors. To me he was an interesting, high variance, player back when I thought the Rockets would pick late lottery. If he becomes a good shooter, then he’ll be a great pick. If Gradey Dick also shoots it well, Toronto’s rebuild is off to a good start.
20. Cleveland
Jalen Tyson goes to Cleveland. Cleveland probably needs guards, despite having two PGs. I don’t imagine he’ll do much this year, but he could help them long term. He’s versatile.
21. New Orleans (from Milwaukee)
The Pelican’ts select…Yves Missi? He’s purportedly a potential high level defender, rebounder, and rim protector. With pretty much no offensive game. So what’s the fit with Zion?
22. Phoenix (traded to Denver)
This is where the Suns send the Rockets Durant for FVV, some stuff, and their picks back, right? No, he loves Phoenix. He plans to retire at Sun City.
Wait. A trade!
Nuggets trade this pick to Denver for the 28th pick and some seconds. So PHX selects DaRon Holmes II for Denver. Denver gets a plausible Jokic backup. That’s good business for Denver.
23. Milwaukee (from New Orleans)
The Bucks take AJ Johnson from Texas by way of the Australian NBL. The Bucks need some young talent, and he was highly regarded as a prospect, but is probably some ways from contributing to a Bucks team that wants to contend.
24. New York (from Dallas)
The Knicks take Kyshawn George who has a magnificent coif. He’s out of Miami, is tall, and played in France? I don’t know, he’s interesting. Can we learn more? No, Steven A Smith goes on an impassioned rant about the Knicks, but not their pick. No worries, they’ve traded for another pick, too. Somehow.
George is talented, but doesn’t seem to have put it all together. Perhaps the GLeague and tough Thibs love will change that?
25. New York
The Knicks then take Pacome Dadiet, who is, surprise, French and quite tall even by NBA standards. He’s playing in Europe, and many think he’ll stay there another season, but we’ll see.
26. Washington (from LA Clippers via Dallas and Oklahoma City – then to New York, and Thence To McDuck)
McDuck trades his silver, not gold, coins in the form of a passel of second rounders for this pick. He’s another dude with a varied skillset, but he’s probably not quite tall enough to be a Thudner.
Dillion Jones is his name.
27. Minnesota
The Timberwolves pick recently acquitted alleged rapist Terrence Shannon Jr.
28. Denver
The Nugs take Ryan Dunn, a defensive minded, though probably undersized, PF from Virginia.
29. Utah (from Oklahoma City via Toronto and Indiana)
The Jazz take Isaiah Collier, who surprised many by still being there. A talented guard from USC, Collier looks like annoyingly good value here. He was a high level recruit who didn’t have a great season, but betting on the talent this late seems sound.
30. Boston
The Celtics take Baylor Scheierman. A movement shooter with varied skills from Creighton. Seems like a good fit in Boston, who needs cheap players.