Let’s talk about this game, because I guess we have to.
I’d just as soon forget this game ever happened, but I guess we still have to talk about it, even briefly.
The Houston Texans went up to Minneapolis to play the Minnesota Vikings. Or at least they were supposed to. The Texans we were expecting to see, you know the chic Super Bowl contenders that we thought we were supporting, never showed up. Whether that’s because their plane got rerouted to Fargo or their tickets got eaten by snails is anybody’s guess.
Instead, what we got was the 2021 Houston Texans making a most unwanted appearance.
It all started in the first quarter where C.J. Stroud threw his first of two interceptions of the day; being picked off by, of all people former Texan Jon Greenard, to add insult to injury.
The defense did nothing against Justin Jefferson, who registered six catches for 81 yards and a score. Vikings quarterback Sam Darnold, yes, the same QB who got benched because of mono when he was with the New York Jets, threw for four touchdowns because nothing went right for the Texans today.
I don’t want to talk any more about this game than I have to so I’ll just say that the only Texans score came from a C.J. Stroud pass to RB Cam Akers who got the nod because both Dameon Pierce and Joe Mixon were scratched due to injuries.
But the real “star” of the game for the Texans were, once again, the penalties, which they outdid themselves in by getting 11 penalties for 88 yards, not all of which were Laremy Tunsil’s fault, but more than half (six!) penalties were, in fact, his fault.
If there is anything that could possibly derail the Texans’ hopes for their first ever Super Bowl appearance, it will be because they cannot control their ability to rack up stupid penalties.
This was a gross game, and I fully intend to burn it out of my brain by whatever legal-ish means are available to me, and this will be the last I talk of this game because none of us wants to relive this nightmare.
But if y’all want to talk about it, the floor is yours. Personally, I’m gonna go play with my new cat, Louie. He’ll make me feel better about…whatever the [kitten] this was.
Thank you and I’ll see y’all on Monday.
::takes off microphone::
NO REALLY, WHAT THE [KITTEN] DID I JUST WATCH TODAY?!